Your light side is the best side of you. The you who's smiley, witty, charming, loving, and compassionate. Every good moment you've had has been the work of your light side.

 

Your dark side however is the opposite. It's the side of you that hates, hurts, fears, suffers, and complains. It's the side of you you're not proud of.

 

Now what happens when we're young is that our parents reward us from acting from our light side, and punish us for being in our dark side.

 

Like when we clean up after ourselves and are nice to our family, we get rewarded with love, attention, and affection.

 

But when we throw a temper tantrum and go and break the family heirloom lamp by throwing our Optimus prime toy around, we get yelled at, demeaned, and punished. 

 

This may not seem such a bad thing at first because, well, wouldn't that just help us be more in our light side?

 

In reality, life is a duality. This means that there are always two sides to something just like the protons and electrons, up and down, big and small, and so on. In the same exact way, we are also dualistic creatures, meaning that it's not about being in one extreme or the other, but it's about balance and healthy expression. Because whenever we are too far to an extreme, problems start to arise. (One doesn’t have to look too far into politics to figure that one out…)

 

So when we're punished for being in our dark side as children, we begin to do everything we can to suppress and ignore that part of us, because from our perspective at the time we could die!

 

Now let me explain this to you in a way that makes sense... 

When we are being punished by our parents, we interpret that it means they don't love us. And if our parents don't love us, then they could stop taking care of us. And if they stop taking care of us, then we could die, because we are fully dependent on them for food, water, and shelter at that young of an age!

 

So in an effort of survival, we begin to self-punish our dark side. 

 

Have you ever done this? Beaten yourself up after doing something you knew you shouldn't have? Or binged too hard on food or NetFlix only to feel crappy about it later? Or maybe you had an awkward social interaction that your mind tormented you with for years after.

 

The issue goes deeper than this because the suppression of our dark side is what causes social anxiety. 

 

This happens when we have a negative or embarrassing social experience when we're young, and then instead of allowing ourselves to feel the shame and releasing it, we bottle it up and try to ignore it, which only leaves it lingering just underneath the surface and keep us depressed and socially isolated.

 

But once we can recognize our dark side and learn to release, we can be free from social anxiety and truly be our full selves.